Lack of Imagination

For some reason my brain has just switched off for the time being, or at least to be occupied with other matters than writing blog stuff. I am still trying though, since its relaxing to write now and then. Most of the writing I have been doing recently has been a story I am working on, more for my own entertainment than anything else. Still trying to get more time at work as well.

Actually my mind does not seem to be so much switched off as scrappy and wandering, I keep getting distracted and bored with things. I can focus for a short time, but not long, and I do not know why. To be honest I rather dislike it, I always used to be able to hyperfocus on things, ignoring everything else around me while, for example, I read a book, listened to music, played a game, wrote, practically anything. Now I seem to be unable to concentrate on such things for more than a minute or two at most before my mind starts wandering.

On the other hand I also seem to be a lot more content with life at the moment, much more at peace and settled with things. I do not know if this calmness has to do with my new inability to over-focus, or if it is related to the fact that I have lost my rage and bitterness at the world, my dissatisfaction and irritation at things. Maybe it is just because of the winter. I hope so, I do not like being in this sort of state. I miss my passion in life, even if at times I do not enjoy it. I am comfortable enough, but everything seems grey and dull these days. Comfort is not nearly enough, life is far too simple at the moment. I need some chaos. Maybe it is a form of masochism, maybe not, but things are just far too easy. I need the storm to arrive.

Pre-New Year Ambitions

I have made a decision to improve my diction. Henceforth I will often be using more archaic language and construction of sentences in an attempt to further distance myself from the modern world. My mind is fully set upon seperating my own personal reality from that which truly exists, in the hopes of imposing my own view of the world upon its other inhabitants. Acknowledging the difficulty of such a project is only natural and I could be thought a fool for even conceiving of such, let alone embarking upon such a challenging path. Yet I will not relent. A new resolve has flooded me, and I am now dedicated to seeing all current and future ambitions through either to a successful conclusion, or a mortal one.

As such I believe I should mention the projects I am currently engaged with. Firstly there is the commencement of manually crafted correspondence with persons around the world, purely for the enjoyment of the written word and the reception of international missives. Such as arrive will be carefully saved and treasured. My ambition in this matter is to be corresponding with each of the continents, though I accept that writing to the southern-most continent of Antarctica may prevent a challenge, but not an insurmountable challenge. There is no time limit on this ambition, but to be fulfilled fully this must involve active correspondence with each continent in the same six month period.

The second of these projects is not such a noble cause. Instead it is my attempt to find gainful, full-time employment of some form within the next six months. I am not simply seeking a job, but actively looking for a vocation. I will only apply to those who will employ me in activities which I shall enjoy, and will make all possible attempts to escape from the fiendish electronic machinery and moronic users with which and whom I am currently plagued. I will continue working with these differential engines if, and only if, I manage to become independent of the mediocre management under which I have suffered since beginning in this trade. The only exception to such an ambition will be when I take a month, either in February or soon afterwards, in which I will attempt to raise funds by charging people for the pleasure of my company. This of course will require dedicated training, and high amounts of attention to my appearance, but all noble young men should do such anyway and I feel this can only help me in either ambition.

A third ambition will be the cessation of all nicotinous inhalations by the New Year, as well as the avoidance of all alcohol-related activities except for those in social environs. Even then my intake of such intoxicating products will be reduced to such levels as I retain my full functions and diction, though judgment is permitted to become moderately impaired during such activities.

As for progress on the first ambition, currently I have correspondence with personages on the continents of the New World, the European continent and the African continent. As such I must still find individuals to write to in the Southern section of the New World, the mysterious lands of Asia, and that colony of Australia. Antartica will of course remain my largest challenge, being that the continent is largely uninhabited, except for small pockets of scientific researchers, and I imagine that few of them have the time or inclination to attend to my humble abode on the international network of computers.

Recently at my current place of employment I have found myself with both too much time unoccupied, and an abundance of plasticine. I wish to introduce you all to my latest creation, a product of both of these.

Word of the day: Huna - The unpleasant result of coming to the wrong decision.