Cast Updates

I have decided that it might be worth updating people on the status of various cast members tonight. So, running through in alphabetical order and with the addition of a new potential member, here we go.

• Affair - Is still around, though I get less chance to talk to her these days since her boyfriend has recently become unemployed and is spending more time at home. However she is still trying to arrange a visit to me, or vice-versa, where we will be undisturbed by her boyfriend and both of us will have a chance to once again indulge in the rampant and rather messy sex which we had before certain circumstances persuaded us that staying together would be to the detriment of both our lives, and that we were better off as simply friends with the potential for benefits.
• BedBuddy - Has now found herself a boyfriend and, while we are still friends, is not currently a member of the cast. She did however send me some interesting pictures of herself and her new boyfriend. She will be being removed from my little cast list shortly.
  
• Essex - Is very much still around in a friendly, no-strings attached to either party manner. I am hoping to find an opportune time to visit her again soon.
• Miss Complicated - Is purely a friend now, things just got far too stressful for either of us to maintain even pretense at something more. Holding back and simply being friendly while discussing the overthrow of the government seems much easier for both of us.
• Mystery - Is still very much around, and has even commented on here recently. She will be remaining anonymous for the time being though. Wish that she lived a lot closer.
• Slave - Post-visit a decision has been reached whereby we will be remaining friendly, but accept that we are not suited for that sort of relationship. Frankly she is far too much hard work as are many of her friends. I am not willing to start providing that much support.
• Stalker - Has calmed down and backed away recently, but still regularly tries to contact me.
• Student - Is still around as a friend, and as an occasional bedwarmer. There is no real passion between us, at least not of the romantic time, but there are times when a bedwarmer or a simple, uncomplicated, unemotional fuck makes things much clearer.
• Sweetie - Again, very much still around and hopefully I will be seeing her before Christmas. Things are getting a little complicated here however, as she is starting to let me know that she is jealous. Not quite sure what to do since she also does not want to break things off.
• Tart - Completely gone, simply vanished off the face of the earth as far as I can tell. Mutual friends and acquaintances have no idea what has happened to her so it seems she may have simply gone.

Now as to the new one, tonight I was meant to be meeting with some friends who I have not seen for a while. Those friends managed to lose mobile phones or just fail to answer them, but while waiting in the pub I was approached by a young lass with a pretty face and a Russian accent. The rest of her body was also not unnattractive, and we began a conversation about fantasy writing and the supernatural before drifting into other topics. After a tour of several bars and a coffee shop she was returned home, with any innocence that she may have had intact except for some moderate tickling, playing around and petting. Phone numbers exchanged, and the conversation has continued through the wonders of text messaging. So, a new member of the cast, I would like you all to meet Russian.

Fireworks Are Dangerous

So you see those pretty things up there? Those ones which go boom, whizz, flash and crackle? The ones which sparkle and shine and light up the sky? The ones which fall over and get stuck in their launchers, or in the case of some fly free of their securing nail and spiral across the garden in a whirl of sparkling fury?

Yes, fireworks. They are immense fun. But has anyone else noticed that they are at their best when things do not go quite to plan? Take our little home display last night. We had a highly successful bonfire, even if we did all need to shelter from the heat behind a tree when it was at its best. And we may have accidentally set fire to a large patch of bamboo and burned it half to the ground before anyone managed to get the fire extinguisher out, but it was fun all the same.

Then we moved on to the actual display.

That was when the fun really started.

We started the display with a rocket, a very large rocket, lit by yours truly. Sadly the launching tube must have been pressed a little too firmly into the ground so that the rocket's own stick ended up stuck in the earth. As you can imagine, in an explosive device with a blast radius of about twenty to thirty metres and intended to fire off at a height of maybe a hundred feet, being stuck is not a good thing.

It did actually launch, eventually, but the delay must have been a little too much. It had barely cleared the roof when it detonated with a shockwave that nearly took us off our feet, shattered a couple of windows, and echoed for a good few minutes.

You might consider that this could be taken as a bad omen, and a sign to cease the display. Not so! The windows were quickly boarded up and repair people are coming today, and the display continued. The next melodrama to occur involved a firework designed to fire sixty four shots, which would delight young and old with their explosive, then crackling descent. It must be admitted that it did almost exactly what it said on the tin.

The only problem was that the first shot for some reason jarred it free of its bed of earth and onto its side. It then lay on its side and fired sixty three shots directly at the house of our neighbour, probably causing much distress inside as it must have sounded like a siege weapon going off as each shot detonated when it hit the wall of their house.

And still the display continued, though with no further problems.

In other news, Tart is now being cut free for simplicity. Things were fine when all she was offering were fun and games, but now she is poking for more of a relationship and I have already had one with her, which ended badly, so no thanks. Another one down, though a few more potentials on the horizon. I will have to tell you about those should something actually come of them. Affair is still demonstrating more and more interest, I get the strong feeling her current boyfriend is ignoring her, and given that this is one of only two girls I have ever met with a sex drive to match mine it must be driving her insane.

And of course, as always, there is Stalker. She has now taken to sending me pictures, from a range of different e-mail addresses and accompanied by stories. The pictures are quite obviously of her, but for some reason they really do not push any buttons I might have. I think my dislike of her is preventing me from becoming aroused by such images, even though they would should they come from other people.

Everyone Has Problems

So we can quite happily say that everyone has problems, either their own fault other people's, and a multitude of them. At the moment most of mine are fairly basic, and are ones I am trying to fix. There is the fact that I am currently ill, which is improving anyway. There is the fact that I hate my job and do not get paid nearly enough, but I have a lot of application forms and CVs floating around out there to apply to new ones.

Most of the others are not as easily solved. Baby is currently slightly ill, and so screams even more than usual. This is a little annoying to say the least. Very little sleep because of that, although at least I can talk to people while I am waiting for the little brat to actually get to sleep. So thanks to people who talk back to me, you are helping to keep my sanity intact.

Next problem is Stalker again. I actually had to speak with her today, on the phone, for about half an hour. This was after five phone calls which my sister answered and simply hung up on, before she finally got fed up and brought the phone to me. I told Stalker in no uncertain terms to stop phoning before I had to call the police. Her reply was that if I did not speak to her then she would be turning up on my doorstep.

If it was my own place I was living in, on my own, I would not mind this. Unfortunately she is not mentally stable, quite obviously, and I do not feel comfortable with her being within fifty miles of my nephew. So I spoke to her. Or rather I listened while she unloaded all of her little insecurities, whines, confessions of undying love and so on at me. After listening to her rather poor attempts at emotional blackmail for a half-hour, I finally gave up and simply hung up the phone.

Another is that I have decided I am stunningly bad at relationships, due to being an uncontrollable flirt. I honestly cannot help it. If I find someone attractive, for whatever reason, I flirt with them. I will not flirt with anyone I do not like, so at least there are limits, but other than that I can and will flirt with absolutely everyone. This causes a mixture of things, firstly serious insecurity for anyone I happen to try and have an actual relationship with. Secondly it can really cause people the wrong idea if all I am interested in is flirting, though I do not believe that has ever actually ended up as a problem. Thirdly I have had a lot of trouble with friends develop because of it, until they get to know me. Once people know me I can get away with anything. Before people realise that I am actually quite harmless, problems can happen.

And last is my problem with being judged. I often say that I do not care about being judged. That is not quite true. I refuse to feel bad when people judge me in some way, but what I have discovered, or realised, does happen is that I will deliberately go out of my way to offend people who judge me in some way. If they tell me that something I could do is wrong I will set out actively to do it. It does not matter what it is, how dangerous it might be, how much I may dislike the idea, I will almost always try to spoil people's opinions of me even more than they were beforehand.

I suppose there is an advantage though. I really can get away with almost anything once people know me. It seems that friends just accept anything I say, people who would snarl at anyone who so much as winked at their girlfriend do not object when I start spanking them in the middle of the pub, nor do they object when it is done to them. I have no idea what I would have to do to actually offend any of the people who know me well.

Now That Was a Fun Evening

Not amazingly energetic I must admit, but fun all the same. I spent the evening with Sweetie. Dinner and it was supposed to be a film afterwards, but we got a little distracted. I will say this for her, she makes the most delicious noises during sex, not to mention that she is somewhat insatiable. Three hour-long sessions in six hours, with the first hour taken up by food and the breaks filled in with post-play and vague watchings of Family Guy. She is still here now, fast asleep and curled up warm and snug next to me.

As much as I love kinkier forms of sex, every now and then a little vanilla is wonderful. Plus she has this wonderful fascination with rendering me into a shuddering, moaning mass on the bed between full sex. I should mention that I am rather hypersensitive, and she quickly learned exactly what can render me helpless and quivering.

I am actually tempted to call in sick to work tomorrow, I am looking for a new job anyway so I do not see why I should show them any loyalty. It is not as if they have ever shown me any, and wolf-whistles are starting to get on my nerves. I will explain that in a second.

Something scary did happen tonight though. I opened my laptop and saw that Stalker had left me an offline message. Well, about twelve offline messages. Here is one of them reproduced:

"want u 2 tie me 2 the bed 4 a day, and come in and fuck me whenever u want while anyone who wants watches us on camera"

This is after I have sent her yet another message today saying that I want nothing to do with her. Literally that. For fuck's sake, this is getting ridiculous.

Anyway having Sweetie lying naked next to me like this has made me feel frisky again, so I think I will wake her up for some more entertainment.

The One Who Scares Me

Just over a year ago I became involved with someone, for about two weeks. During that time they somehow developed the impression that I was the only person in their life who cared about them, was the perfect man, and would be with them forever.

Now admittedly I cannot argue with the perfect man aspect of that particular belief, purely because my simulated ego would fail instantly were I to do so. However being with them forever was definitely not on the cards at the time. I was quite blunt about the fact that the whole affair was just a fling, I even told her that I was only sleeping at her house because it was conveniently placed between the two habitations I was moving all of my belongings between, and it was a long trip from which I needed a break. At the time this all seemed acceptable to her, and then she uttered those terrifying words. 'I love you.'

I should point out now that I have no particular fear of commitment, other than the perfectly rational fear induced by my marriage. At least in general I have no fear of commitment. When its with someone that I know I have no real interest in continuing things with, my fear is legendary. Not only that but my view of love is very different and very much more flexible to the standard view.

Either way my response was sensible, reasonable and rational. I got out of bed, without a word, pulled on what clothes I could find, said 'I'll see you later' and left.

The plan was that she would understand this as the message for 'you crazy bitch, that was the wrong thing to say, leave me alone now'.

She did not understand this message.

I have had to sever contacts with friends, change my phone number, change my e-mail address, remove my profile from certain social sites, and yet she has still managed to find me. Now I have just given up. If I at least talk to her then maybe she will eventually get the message into her delusional little brain. That seems to be the only option until I can afford to change my address. Maybe I should look into moving abroad.

And thus, the Stalker has entered our scene.