Decoder Ring Theatre

I adore pulp fiction. Not the film, though that is good as well, but old classical adventure, hard-boiled adventurers and tough Canadian superheroes, and some time ago I discovered it free on the internet. This is a plug, though it is one which I am choosing to do rather than having been asked or paid for it. I just want to thank the people who make these podcast plays for the sanity breaks and such they have given me at work, or while on long drives.

So here is to the people at Decoder Ring Theatre and congratulations to them all. Because of them I get to escape off into hard-boiled detective stories and fantastical superhero tales during my breaks at work.

Drifting off-topic slightly, though maybe not so much given the powers of the Red Panda, my quest to learn hypnotism and all of the other little tricks of the human mind has been renewed once again. I watched Derren Brown's "The Heist" tonight, finishing only a short while ago, and with my psychological studies resuming once again next year, including hopefully a specialist course in grief counselling, and another in hypnotherapy, I hope soon to be able to do more than simply understand how what he is doing works.

Pre-New Year Ambitions

I have made a decision to improve my diction. Henceforth I will often be using more archaic language and construction of sentences in an attempt to further distance myself from the modern world. My mind is fully set upon seperating my own personal reality from that which truly exists, in the hopes of imposing my own view of the world upon its other inhabitants. Acknowledging the difficulty of such a project is only natural and I could be thought a fool for even conceiving of such, let alone embarking upon such a challenging path. Yet I will not relent. A new resolve has flooded me, and I am now dedicated to seeing all current and future ambitions through either to a successful conclusion, or a mortal one.

As such I believe I should mention the projects I am currently engaged with. Firstly there is the commencement of manually crafted correspondence with persons around the world, purely for the enjoyment of the written word and the reception of international missives. Such as arrive will be carefully saved and treasured. My ambition in this matter is to be corresponding with each of the continents, though I accept that writing to the southern-most continent of Antarctica may prevent a challenge, but not an insurmountable challenge. There is no time limit on this ambition, but to be fulfilled fully this must involve active correspondence with each continent in the same six month period.

The second of these projects is not such a noble cause. Instead it is my attempt to find gainful, full-time employment of some form within the next six months. I am not simply seeking a job, but actively looking for a vocation. I will only apply to those who will employ me in activities which I shall enjoy, and will make all possible attempts to escape from the fiendish electronic machinery and moronic users with which and whom I am currently plagued. I will continue working with these differential engines if, and only if, I manage to become independent of the mediocre management under which I have suffered since beginning in this trade. The only exception to such an ambition will be when I take a month, either in February or soon afterwards, in which I will attempt to raise funds by charging people for the pleasure of my company. This of course will require dedicated training, and high amounts of attention to my appearance, but all noble young men should do such anyway and I feel this can only help me in either ambition.

A third ambition will be the cessation of all nicotinous inhalations by the New Year, as well as the avoidance of all alcohol-related activities except for those in social environs. Even then my intake of such intoxicating products will be reduced to such levels as I retain my full functions and diction, though judgment is permitted to become moderately impaired during such activities.

As for progress on the first ambition, currently I have correspondence with personages on the continents of the New World, the European continent and the African continent. As such I must still find individuals to write to in the Southern section of the New World, the mysterious lands of Asia, and that colony of Australia. Antartica will of course remain my largest challenge, being that the continent is largely uninhabited, except for small pockets of scientific researchers, and I imagine that few of them have the time or inclination to attend to my humble abode on the international network of computers.

Recently at my current place of employment I have found myself with both too much time unoccupied, and an abundance of plasticine. I wish to introduce you all to my latest creation, a product of both of these.

Word of the day: Huna - The unpleasant result of coming to the wrong decision.

Misplaced in Time

I have a theory that people can be misplaced at birth. Obviously I am not speaking literally here, it is technically possible for babies to be put in the wrong place at a hospital, or left behind, or children to go missing but that is not what I am talking about. Some people have a natural empathy with certain cultures or traditions. Some people feel a resonance with a certain country. And most importantly, and relevant to this post, is that some people have a feeling that they should be in a certain time.

I feel that I should have been born in a time, and a way, where life was slower and riskier. Where when someone insulted me or annoyed me I could challenge them to a duel and have the whole matter resolved in a few minutes of swordplay, or a simple pistol shot. I should be in a time where I would be considered a scoundrel or a cad rather than a playboy or a slut. I should be around when it would not be considered odd for me to wear a frilled shirt, and to use formal language for the simplest of matters.

And I should be in a time where having a case of ivory appointment cards to hand to a butler would be considered normal. Where civility and politeness could be infinitely more cutting and insulting than a simple 'fuck you'.

Unfortunately I cannot even find such cards, despite my best attempts, and the style of dress I would like to adopt is far beyond my price range.


So what do I do instead? Well I practice a hobby called live-action roleplay, where I can play pretend with up to thousands of other adults who all play alongside. Several weekends a year. It is expensive, but its my holiday from reality and so is worth it. It also has been the thing that drives me to learn how to sword-fight, staff-fight, learn archery, how to throw knives, how to use a shield, an axe, a hammer, and just about any other weapon you could name.

Fun though.