Cast Updates

I have decided that it might be worth updating people on the status of various cast members tonight. So, running through in alphabetical order and with the addition of a new potential member, here we go.

• Affair - Is still around, though I get less chance to talk to her these days since her boyfriend has recently become unemployed and is spending more time at home. However she is still trying to arrange a visit to me, or vice-versa, where we will be undisturbed by her boyfriend and both of us will have a chance to once again indulge in the rampant and rather messy sex which we had before certain circumstances persuaded us that staying together would be to the detriment of both our lives, and that we were better off as simply friends with the potential for benefits.
• BedBuddy - Has now found herself a boyfriend and, while we are still friends, is not currently a member of the cast. She did however send me some interesting pictures of herself and her new boyfriend. She will be being removed from my little cast list shortly.
  
• Essex - Is very much still around in a friendly, no-strings attached to either party manner. I am hoping to find an opportune time to visit her again soon.
• Miss Complicated - Is purely a friend now, things just got far too stressful for either of us to maintain even pretense at something more. Holding back and simply being friendly while discussing the overthrow of the government seems much easier for both of us.
• Mystery - Is still very much around, and has even commented on here recently. She will be remaining anonymous for the time being though. Wish that she lived a lot closer.
• Slave - Post-visit a decision has been reached whereby we will be remaining friendly, but accept that we are not suited for that sort of relationship. Frankly she is far too much hard work as are many of her friends. I am not willing to start providing that much support.
• Stalker - Has calmed down and backed away recently, but still regularly tries to contact me.
• Student - Is still around as a friend, and as an occasional bedwarmer. There is no real passion between us, at least not of the romantic time, but there are times when a bedwarmer or a simple, uncomplicated, unemotional fuck makes things much clearer.
• Sweetie - Again, very much still around and hopefully I will be seeing her before Christmas. Things are getting a little complicated here however, as she is starting to let me know that she is jealous. Not quite sure what to do since she also does not want to break things off.
• Tart - Completely gone, simply vanished off the face of the earth as far as I can tell. Mutual friends and acquaintances have no idea what has happened to her so it seems she may have simply gone.

Now as to the new one, tonight I was meant to be meeting with some friends who I have not seen for a while. Those friends managed to lose mobile phones or just fail to answer them, but while waiting in the pub I was approached by a young lass with a pretty face and a Russian accent. The rest of her body was also not unnattractive, and we began a conversation about fantasy writing and the supernatural before drifting into other topics. After a tour of several bars and a coffee shop she was returned home, with any innocence that she may have had intact except for some moderate tickling, playing around and petting. Phone numbers exchanged, and the conversation has continued through the wonders of text messaging. So, a new member of the cast, I would like you all to meet Russian.

Exit Stage Left

Well there we go, one down. I made a decision tonight that I am cutting myself loose from Miss Complicated. I have removed her phone number from my phone, taken her off various other lists and things that I am a member of, and just left it. I am fed up of being messed around.

That may sound odd coming from me, with the number of relationships I have, but as I said I fall in love, like, lust, call it whatever you want easily. Once I am there I will do everything within my power to keep them as happy as I can. I will try to see them, I will try to be there for them if they need it, I will do whatever I can for them.

What I will not do is make constant excuses not to see them. I will not avoid them, while telling them that I just cannot make up my mind. If they ask for what I think of them, and anyone else who may be in my life, then I will be honest with them and tell them what I feel about them, what I feel about anyone else, and that if they ask me to choose then they should know what my choice will be. I will tell them if they seem to be hurt or upset that I will miss them, but that maybe just friends would be better.

I will not try and keep them in a constant mental dance where they cannot be sure where they stand, how I feel about them or anything else. Sure I recognise that she is confused, that she does not know how she feels, but I am no longer going to be the one who deals with it.

So, goodbye Miss Complicated, though you will hopefully never read this.

And apologies for the depressing post everyone, I will cheer up shortly.

Cocktail Party Planning

I do not often plan or arrange parties. I have thrown some before, but it is usually a case of heading back after a night out to continue chatting, drinking and so on rather than an actual organised affair. So this is something new for me. On Friday I will be, for the first time, actually throwing a party deliberately, with forethought, planning, preparation and everything else.

In preparation for this momentuous occasion shopping has been performed. So far I have bought mixers, alcohol, bases and so on for the actual cocktails. I already have about £200 worth of cocktail making equipment ranging from shakers to a blender to bar spoons. Decorations still need to be bought or made, but that should not be too difficult as I do not plan to go over the top. A few skulls dotted around, maybe some paper chains.

There are some problems however. The first is that I still have no idea for a costume. My budget for the month is minimal, with all of the visiting and driving I have to do, so buying an expensive one is out. I need something simple and cheap suggested, and with my occasional insecurity attacks, not to mention the cold, I also need something that covers my body as much as a full set of clothes.

Second problem is that Miss Complicated may or may not be there, Sweetie may or may not be coming, and another girl who I will explain about shortly will be there.

Obviously if both Miss Complicated and Sweetie turn up I will be engaging in verbal gymnastics most of the night, possibly literal gymnastics if they manage to break the lock on my room and get to my weapons cabinet. Fortunately it seems much more likely that neither of them will make it.

The other girl is one I may need to come up with a nickname for. She has been having an on-off relationship with her boyfriend, gradually becoming more off than on. It seems that it has finally become fully off, at least for the next couple of weeks. She and I have talked in the past, though not seriously, but the main point of attraction for me is that some of my friends have said several times that she would be a perfect match for me, and that I would never get her.

Anyway, if anyone has any costume suggestions, decoration suggestions, food suggestions or anything else feel free to comment.

Oh, and if anyone wants to come along feel free to give me a yell. The only condition will be that you will be required to help restrain Sweetie should she turn up and meet Miss Complicated. It is not that I have lied to her, I have never told her that there is no one else in my life, or in my bed, and she has even given the impression that she accepts that. I just do not think the mix of coming face to face with bits of my life she does not need to ever know the details of and lots of alcohol is good for my health.

On Flirting and Seduction

Because of my reputation various friends occasionally ask me for advice on flirting, and similar methods used in order to woo people of the female, and occasionally male gender. The problem is that my flirtation is not a deliberate activity, it is just something that occurs when I am near people I want to flirt with. However I am not stopped so easily, and so I am going to go over past relationships and try to work out how I got into them.

Sweetie, I started talking to her over the internet just as a friendly thing, and found myself flirting with her. Not seriously so as she had a boyfriend, but in the casual, friendly manner I do with anyone. This eventually progressed to a pleasant friendship, and then one night she called in tears due to a relationship crisis. So I arranged to go down the next day to just give her a day out of the house and take her mind off it.

Nothing was ever really discussed, but somehow during the middle of watching a cheap zombie film and laughing at the bad special effects we ended up kissing. I believe the progression went from me giving her a hug, and not letting go, to my fingers trailing back and forth on her arms, sides and legs, to leaning together, to kissing. Things continued from there fairly rapidly and kissing evolved into mindless, angry rebound sex, which was fun for all concerned even if my knees still bear slight scars from carpet burn.

Things with Miss Complicated were actually simpler, at least on the physical side. The first time we met we just chatted for a while, until we were back at the station and I was about to head off, while she was waiting for her taxi to arrive. I decided, and I should add that I was completely sober at this point, that I wanted to kiss her. I went for the simple approach. I grabbed her, and kissed her, just lightly. One of those polite kisses that is definitely not simply friendly, but does not probe too much or become aggressive. Again, the kissing simply progressed from there.

As I have mentioned Affair is an ex-girlfriend of mine. Originally she was intended to be just a friend, but when I went to actually see her in person for the first time she answered the door to her parent's house in a very see-through dressing gown, which made it quite blatant there was nothing underneath. We ended up fucking on the rug in the hallway, then again on the stairs, and the landing, in the shower, over the kitchen counter, on the kitchen table, and so on. That was all the first time we met.

What I do not know if is this sort of thing is typical or not. I have always assumed it is fairly normal to end up having rampant, passionate sex on first meeting someone if you find each other mutually attractive. My friends assure me that it is not. I have also had ex-girlfriends say that they do not know what came over them while they were with me, and in some cases they claim not to know what came over them when they meet me after a break-up. Usually this is after either having sex or performing some sort of sexual service for me.

I have also been told in the past that I am easy to fall in love or lust with, and this I really do not understand. At best I could be considered slightly above average in looks, at worst a long way below. So either I have some sort of aura of sex, or there is some trick to sleeping with people which I have subconsciously discovered and which could earn me an absolute fortune if I ever realise what it is.

On another note, I updated my library with another story yesterday. This one's a bit more adult than the first two. I'm planning to do three normal stories each month, all being put up on Saturdays, and one adult one on the last Saturday of each month. Go and give me feedback, I live for comments and feedback.

Bloody Annoying Complications

Bloody bastard fucking annoying inconvenient pissing emotions!

I really need less of these. Please excuse the language.

So Miss Complicated, who I have obviously mentioned before, is now pouring out her worries and woes upon me. She is, as I have said, funny, cute, witty, intelligent, and generally my type. She is also the only person I have ever found who can engage me in a geniune debate about politics. This is actually an important skill for someone to have.

The problem is that all of her worries and woes are pretty much identical to the ones I had at her age. Seriously, this girl looks like she might actually be turning out the same way I did except as a female equivalent.

For anyone wondering this is a bad thing^TM. Anyone questioning this would best be informed that I have grown into a person with massive, massive phobias of commitment and being alone, not to mention all sorts of other quirks and personality traits which I would be much better off without.

Unfortunately I remember being at the same stage as she is, and someone trying to do for me exactly what I am trying to do for her. It failed miserably, and this is going the same way. Have to make an effort though.

So to summarise, at the moment I am highly messed up due to having actual feelings for Miss Complicated, which I am sure are due to her unnattainability. I need a simpler life.

The Cast of this Little Melodrama

This is basically going to be the story of me, and the various relationships which seem to make their way into and out of my life on a regular basis. At the moment there are four relationships of a serious nature, so these are the four people who will get pseudonyms to start with. As others enter and leave the stage so they will be added and removed and even friends may get their own aliases should they become dramatic enough in some way.

Firstly we have the Tart. The Tart was someone whom I had a past relationship with, cohabitating even, until she revealed that she was psychotic and in serious need of therapy. After several attempted attacks upon my person I decided that enough was enough, and that she should be removed from my life. Since that time she has sought assistance with her various disorders, and resolved most of them. We have recently started talking again, and flirting, and as of a couple of nights ago she has started sending me home made pornographic material in the form of writings, pictures, and videos. The potential here seems to be for FiBs as neither herself nor myself have any interest in beginning an exclusive relationship with one another, but even at the worst of times the sex was great.

Secondly we have the Sweetie. The Sweetie is just that, very nice, very sweet, not my usual type but still attractive. She does not seem to have a particular interest in fetishism, outside of the average broad-mindedness, but she does have a nice healthy sex drive and gives fairly good blowjobs. The only problem is that I am actually worried about hurting her, emotionally that is. She is not as robust as the usual people I date, and she also seems the sort to fall in love easily.

On to number three now, the Slave. This one is rather self-explanatory and obvious. The disadvantage of the Slave is basically distance, but she has been asking to be collared by me, she has a complete lack of inhibitions, is highly masochistic and submissive, and would be a lot of fun. Problem as I said is distance, plus a few mental disorders which prevent certain things and might make life difficult. The Slave I should be visiting before the end of the year, so more detail will be available when I have actually met her in person and not simply seen her at the other end of a webcam and spoken with her on the phone.

Finally we have the worst one in a way, Miss Complicated. Miss Complicated is the one who appeals to me most of all, intelligent, funny, pretty. The problem is the complication. She is rather mixed up about certain things, disliking affection and intimacy unless she is in exactly the right mood, and emotional intimacy seems to be a great fear of hers. Obviously this gets a little irritating when I meet her, and talk with her, chatting about a range of things and then can not so much as stroke her arm without making her flinch. At other times its the opposite. She also swings between saying that she wants to be wanted, and being chatty and friendly, and again the complete opposite. Even though this is a stressful time for her, it makes me feel somewhat less than considerate.

So there you have the summary of the play of things at the moment. More detail will be following eventually but for now I am absconding to the nearest house of alocholic imbibement in order to get a drink and potentially find a few other names to add.