Domestically Skilled or Unskilled

I can never understand how it can be that someone can reach adulthood without knowing how to use something as simple as a washing machine, or make a baked potato. Yet for some people knowing nothing about how to survive independently seems to be a point of pride as much as anything else. I pity these people, especially these days when women are no longer content to be housewives.

I am very thankful that they are not content to be simple housewives as well, hopefully it will mean that these people can no longer survive for long. They will find themselves alone, slowly dying of malnutrition, rotting in filthy, rag-like clothes.

These are such simple skills, so how can it be that not only is someone incapable of performing them, but actively proud of that fact? I can understand not being able to make a complicated meal for twelve, although that is not particularly difficult. I can understand not knowing how to boil soap or handwash clothes in a stream, though again, not difficult. But not being able to throw a potato in the oven for a while, or fry a steak? Not being able to put some clothes in a machine, throw in some liquid, and press a button?

How do these people live with themselves? Really?

Misplaced in Time

I have a theory that people can be misplaced at birth. Obviously I am not speaking literally here, it is technically possible for babies to be put in the wrong place at a hospital, or left behind, or children to go missing but that is not what I am talking about. Some people have a natural empathy with certain cultures or traditions. Some people feel a resonance with a certain country. And most importantly, and relevant to this post, is that some people have a feeling that they should be in a certain time.

I feel that I should have been born in a time, and a way, where life was slower and riskier. Where when someone insulted me or annoyed me I could challenge them to a duel and have the whole matter resolved in a few minutes of swordplay, or a simple pistol shot. I should be in a time where I would be considered a scoundrel or a cad rather than a playboy or a slut. I should be around when it would not be considered odd for me to wear a frilled shirt, and to use formal language for the simplest of matters.

And I should be in a time where having a case of ivory appointment cards to hand to a butler would be considered normal. Where civility and politeness could be infinitely more cutting and insulting than a simple 'fuck you'.

Unfortunately I cannot even find such cards, despite my best attempts, and the style of dress I would like to adopt is far beyond my price range.


So what do I do instead? Well I practice a hobby called live-action roleplay, where I can play pretend with up to thousands of other adults who all play alongside. Several weekends a year. It is expensive, but its my holiday from reality and so is worth it. It also has been the thing that drives me to learn how to sword-fight, staff-fight, learn archery, how to throw knives, how to use a shield, an axe, a hammer, and just about any other weapon you could name.

Fun though.

Experiences of Sex and Pain

Even for supposedly vanilla people sex and pain are often intrinsically linked. This post may contain a handful of terms which some are not familiar with, so it might be easier for me to explain them now. Vanilla refers to plain sex, though people use the term differently. Some use it to refer to any sex which does not involve some sort of kink or violence, others use it to refer specifically to missionary sex. Bondage refers to being bound, whether with rope, chains or anything else. Domination and submission refer to power plays, usually just during sex but for some people extending a long way outside the bedroom. Sadomasochism is an enjoyment of giving or receiving pain.

One important thing for this post is the distinction between kinks and fetishes. A fetish is a strictly defined term, and in terms of sex means something without which someone cannot have sex. A kink on the other hand is simply something which can enhance the experience or enjoyment of sex. I have many, many kinks, but no true fetishes.

Now as to my own experiences, my first experience of rough sex, sadomasochism, was also the first time I actually had sex. That one I have already talked about, so this is more for the others.

Mainly in alternative sex, as it is sometimes described, I tend to take a dominant role. It can happen that the right person can push me into a submissive attitude, but that is extremely rare. The first time that occurred was with the same girl who I had my first time with. I ended up being entertainment for a party, though I still do not know how many people there were at the party, having been blindfolded and restrained for the whole time. The details are rather vague and blurred in my head, the whole thing being a mess of voices, hands, and the occasional mouth, for eight hours.

I could barely move afterwards. Being locked with your wrists to your ankles for eight hours of writhing and struggling takes its toll on your joints. I had marks around my wrists and ankles for weeks afterwards.

Of course as I said I have been very much on the other side before, I have had people acting as my pets for days, following every order, surrendering everything in the way of choice to me for a time and taking punishment if they disobey. This is why I am looking forward to my trip to Ireland, it has been a long time since I have been able to play with someone with that level of submission. I have various toys along those lines, a simple whip which I have never used. It is more a prop than anything else. A cane which is particularly well-made, with a nice weight, and leaves good solid welts when correctly applied to the body. Carefully blunted knives which can prick and give the illusion of danger, but are incapable of actually cutting.

Safety is actually important in this sort of sex though. Safe words are used in case things go too far, something I am careful to establish with any partner who may be partaking in risky activities with me. I have spare keys for any restraints I have, and a small set of lockpicks just in case those go missing.

Definitely looking forward to Ireland though, where I can actually put this sort of thing to its full use again. I may not want to indulge every time, but every now and then it is an urge which I want to have a chance to explore.

Masquerade

"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth."

- Oscar Wilde

Masks are really quite amazing things. Little pieces of plastic, or china, or bone, or leather, or whatever else you might use. You place them over a face and suddenly the person is no longer there. That identity, even the personality is gone.

In the course of studying for a psychology degree I came across a concept of a social construct. These are used by people essentially to describe things. For example, if I say to you 'a doctor', it will instantly conjure an image in your mind. Our images may not be identical, but assuming that we are brought up in similar cultures and societies they will be similar. This is a particular example of a social construct, a stereotype associated with a word. If I were to put two constructs together, such as a 'young doctor', your image will change to incorporate the new information.

These constructs can be narrowed down much more, from stereotypes to instead describe facets of a person or even a thing. Concentrating on a person though, the different personalities they present to the world are social constructs. These are not simply pictures or ideas we hold in our heads, independent of the world. This is a two-way communication we hold with society. If we are told that we should be something, and everyone around us is that something, we will alter not only how we act but our very perception of ourselves on the spur of the moment to present a new construct to observers. The playboy-type, happy-go-lucky Mr R Rabbit presented in this blog may be intended by myself to be an accurate representation of myself, and in many ways is so, but even I will never be able to tell exactly how accurate it is as the very act of reading or writing in this blog almost forces me to put forward the appropriate facets of my personality.

You may be wondering what all this has to do with masks, particularly physical masks. Well constructs can change in an instant. The moment a certain person steps into a conversation for example people may go from open, raucous, the life and soul of a party, to quiet, withdrawn and shy. But now what happens if instead we have some sort of protection, a layer between us and everything else, a physical mask concealing that part of us which is most recognisable.

Often people say that masks make us all feel less inhibited, but that seems to me to be an over-simplification. In many way yes, masks do actually allow us to present more of ourselves than we otherwise might. We do not have to worry about judgment, because we can always throw away the mask and start again. We are no free-er than we were before though. Even behind an actual mask we are still presenting a construct, made up of what we believe others should see, or may want to see, what we ourselves think, and what we want to see. All we are doing is making that seperation easier.

Wear a mask and look in a mirror. You are no longer you, the true you is more hidden than ever, you are purely what you present to people, protected and safe. Safe enough to let this stranger in a mask do things that you may have hidden even from yourself. So behind that mask we are letting go and trying new things, but not because we can reveal our true selves, simply because we are better hidden.

If you have doubts, think of this, why do many people find it so much easier to have sex with the lights off? Why are there so many fetishes for costumes? Why are so many costumes and ideas designed to make all involved in sex something other than what they are, adding another layer of pretense to the wrapping? There is nothing wrong with this, but we should at least be honest.

This was meant to be a post much more about masks and costumes in sex, but I got myself a little distracted. I will do a post about anonymising sex, and role-play another time. I have to stop getting distracted like this.

Actually I will have to set up a poll. I am curious about what direction people think I should take this blog in, or if I should just carry on with the chaotic system I am using at the moment.

A Challenge to Anonymous Flamers

I enjoy a good argument. Particularly as I usually win them. But I have become rather irritated with people who anonymously post insults on other people's blogs. I am almost certainly much more morally corrupt and probably easier to take offense at than most. So why do these people go for much more well-behaved, much more reasonable bloggers and attack them?

I am sure I am not that scary, but I suppose it is possible.

Anyway my challenge is as follows. If anyone has the nerve to flame me, and put their name and contacts in the comment, they are more than welcome. If anyone wants to flame me anonymously, go for it. I love playing with you people, you tend to have such limited vocabularies and make such lovely fools of themselves.

For anyone else, you are welcome to put whatever comments or questions you want to me, anonymously. Criticise all you want. Insult all you want. Let me know exactly what you think. No flattery or anything else. I am curious about what people will say. Of course, I may rebutt it completely or tear you to pieces, but I still want to know.

Pet Names and Nicknames

I am sure that everyone has been called by one of these at some point in their life. Whether as a term of endearment such as sweetie, pet, gorgeous, or something similar which now breeches our lovely new view of political correctness, or as something less pleasant or less innocent. I tend to use these for people a lot. Even male friends will occasionally get called 'Sugarpie' or 'Snugglelumps', usually when I am trying to scrounge a drink from them. The most common two which I use though are 'Girly' and 'Boy'.

Of course this does irritate some people, particularly when I start using them on people obviously older than me, but in general I get away with it. Some limited number of the people I know actually have nicknames of their own, which I will usually use.

The kicker is that I personally believe a nickname you have acquired down the years actually says something about you, whether that is pleasant or unpleasant. You have actually earned a true nickname, and it will then stay with you faithfully. Only the closest of my family use my real name when speaking to or of me, anyone else calls me 'Rabbit' or 'Bunny', or variations thereof. That name has been with me for years now, since I was at University, and while it may be overly-feminized or just plain silly, it is my nickname and I am rather attached to it.

The theorised reasons for my nickname are many, and varied, but you can now hear the true story. At University I shared a house with various people of the female persuasion. Comments were made likening me in various ways to members of the lapine species. Eventually the comments stopped being made, and simply the name remained. Of course, one evening while the group of us were watching a film the conversation ended up turning to sex toys. During this conversation the Ann Summers Rampant Rabbit was mentioned, and things moved from there.

So what are your nicknames, and how did you get them? If you do not have one what would you like it to be and why?

Only a few weeks now until my trip into the land of debauchery and sin, which I am rather looking forward to. Slave has apparently been cleaning for the last few days, or at least trying to clean. Hopefully she will be meeting me at the airport, and with a little luck I can restrain myself until the risk of being hauled in by security guards is gone.

Also looking forward to meeting up with, or rather staying with, Student in a couple of weeks. Just for a night before I go camping, but with any luck she will be joining me on the weekend as well.