02 November 2007

Everyone Has a First Time

As the title says, everyone has a first time and I am curious about yours.

Not when you lost your virginity. Frankly first time sex stories are usually fairly dull, and useful only to be told in person while under the influence of alcohol. Even the more interesting ones are never that special.

No, my curiousity today extends to alcohol. Recently I have caught myself drinking more than I usually do, and this is not a good thing. I am not drinking enough to get drunk, which takes rather a lot, but I am starting to drink more often on my own when I get stressed or depressed. This got me thinking about the first time I got drunk, and by extension got me wanting to know everyone else's first time.

I am a nosy old git sometimes.

But I will be fair. If I expect you to tell me about yours then I will tell you about mine.

Mine started when I woke up in a nice, clean hospital bed on a Tuesday afternoon, with a saline drip in my arm. No trace of a hangover, or anything else. In fact really the only problem seemed to be that my clothes were missing and I was in a hospital gown. Slowly as I lay there bits of the story came back to me, others I managed to piece together later.

I was fourteen, had just sailed with sixty other people on a three-masted ship with no engine to Denmark and back over the last nine days, and we had hit port a day early. Apart from nearly colliding with an oil tanker, and a mild storm, the trip had been quiet and uneventful. It had been a pleasant voyage, and the captain suggested that we should all attend a bar he knew of in order to celebrate a safe return. This seemed an excellent idea to me at the time, as I thought it would help me accept that the girl I had been sharing a bunk with (no full pentrative sex had occured, but just about everything else had) would be going back to her home town, a good six hundred miles from my own.

To the bar we went, with the last of our spending money. In my own case my left over money was in the region of sixty pounds. I discovered this was more than enough to allow me to get very, very drunk. According to other party-goers I managed to get through twenty to thirty double whiskeys, as well as spreading the joy around. After this I must have thought that it was a good idea to gather up my bunk buddy in my arms, and start back towards the ship, intending on a passionate and prolonged farewell.

This did not go entirely to plan. Somehow we did make it back to the docks, though how is still a mystery to me. I only know that we made it because a few of the more responsible drinkers apparently assigned themselves as our body guards, working on the sensible presumption that otherwise we could well turn up dead, or not turn up the next day. I selected a pier, and began to tug the object of my affections towards the end of it where our ship awaited in the shadowy, unlit darkness.

I then, according to witnesses, vanished with a splash.

Into the North Sea, off the coast of Scotland.

In Midwinter.

I woke up in the hospital the next morning.

Reason I am talking about this is that is pretty much how I feel right now. I just found out, after weeks of waiting, that not only did I not get the job, but that a decision I took today has placed me in direct opposition to my manager, and everyone else in my office, at work. It is a similar sort of feeling to that moment which flashes back to me now and then, stepping forwards onto what should have been solid ground, feeling uncertain but relieved at the potential of safety, then suddenly nothing there except freezing water.

6 comments:

Rae said...

Wow. Mine wasn't that great. I was 18, in the first few weeks of college, my best friend and I drank a bottle of Bacardi Malibu (cocnout flavored rum), and two small 1/5ths of Pucker (like liquid Jolly Ranchers with alcohol).

We went to a party--where I drank a couple other drinks and some beer. Then came home and got propositioned for sex for the first time...which I did not take advantage of.

I couldn't walk, so I crawled through the dorm instead and passed out on the floor.

I didn't drink for six weeks after that. :-)

Simply Curious said...

Fuck, Bunny. I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted that job. I'll have to tell you in private about the first time I got drunk. It actually goes along with the first time I had sex.

As for the job thing, we'll discuss that a little more, later.

Please feel better...

-S

AngelConradie said...

hhmmm...
i was 14 :")
i was spending the long weekend with a cousin (thursday & friday were public holidays) and she was allowed to go clubbing whilst i was not.
so we went clubbing.
the club had a theme that night, "bacchus night", girls got in free, guys paid 10 bux, beers and straight shooters were free and a mix- any kind of cocktail- was 50c...
i had not intended to go and get drunk, does anyone at 14? but there was this guy (obviously) and he was cute and every time i turned around someone handed me a tequila. then i was dirty dancing on the club stage with aforementioned dude making out furiously.
we headed outside where he stuck his hand down my knickers and i smacked him.
i was taken hom shortly afterwards and spent the whole of the next morning convinced a had the worst flu ever!!!
i still battle with tequila, and i still dance on the stage first chance i get!

Nosjunkie said...

god thats great I loved that...
Oh damn I cant believe that I am doing this...
Okay I only started drinking when I was 20.
I ended up at aparty on a verry hot summer night with some close friends and my only girlfriend..latter on I was very glad that they were close friends...
becasue I ended up stipping down to damn little thanks to a drinking game rule and making out with said girlfriend in the swiming pool before retiring in soggy mess on the bathroom floor.
I had the worst hangover ever and have never gottne that slautered again

Sweets said...

firstly...i'm so sorry about the job...fuck that sucks big time!!

*(*(hugs)*)*

my story... i'm a very conservative drinker...i drink regularly but not excessively… never really got the whole paralytic drinking scene...about two years ago i went to a local octoberfest with a whole bunch of friends... i was having a baaaaaaaaaaaall, i had my weist~beer as my companion the whole evening...drinking way too much way too fast...i ended up dancing on every single table i could find...i must have had 10 jagermeisters...in quick succession...it was great while it lasted...i started feeling green...my friend (love her always and forever) didn't want me to embarrass myself in front of the german oompah band and the other 5000 people present...cause i didn't want to get off that table!! so she took me outside...she looked at me and asked "you want to puke?"... which i promptly did...with a crowd watching...fuck...needless to say i passed out after that...i had to sleep with my foot on the floor for a day...everything kept on moving...i couldn't look anything alcoholic in the eye for at least 2 weeks after... and jagermeister...no thanks...the stuff we do...!!

The Divine Miss M said...

I was 13 on holiday with my parents and another friend in Montague (South Africa). We snuck out of the flat after the rents went to bed and met some older kids at the hot springs pool and a couple of bottle of vodkas. Drinking in a swimming pool is never good because you don't realise how pissed you are, especially when you're 13 and haven't drunk before!

We drank till about 3am and then decided to go back to the hotel. I got up and couldn't walk. The security guard had to carry me back into the hotel where I threw up in the main entrance. He then had to open my door for me because I couldn't - then I blank out.

I do know that my dad came into the bathroom early in the morning and I was naked lying on the floor passed out.

I spent the next 3 days in bed throwing up pretty much everything that entered my system. I didn't drink for another year and a bit after that!

There is my first time.