Friend Syndrome

Chatting with someone today a discussion of friend syndrome developed. If it so happens that there are some among my readers who do not know of, or have not encountered, said syndrome then I will be kind enough to explain it. Friend's syndrome is a particular collection of neuroses, insecurities and relationship difficulties that cause the person who possesses them to be seen as a friend by women, or men, rather than as a potential partner. There can be various different causes to the syndrome, but eventually they usually reduce to much the same origin.

In essence friend's syndrome usually arises when someone with a long-term friend decides that they would like that friendship to go further, while the other person involved would prefer it stays as a simple friendship for whatever reason they may have. This instills in the first party the feeling that they are always seen as just the friend, and they will begin complaining about this to anyone who might be within hearing range, reinforcing the syndrome as well as driving away potential partners, and potential friends. This self-reinforcement continues, with even potential partners being turned into friends by the fact that a person who may have been fairly normal has allowed themselves be turned, by one, or two, or more rejections into a whining, self-righteous, pathetic parody of humanity.

The best cure for such people is to give them a hard, open-handed blow across the cheeks, forcibly turn them around to apply a deal of force via your foot to their posterior, tell them to get over themselves and grow up, and then walk away until they do so. If they do not do so, the loss of their friendship is no real loss as they will continue to sink further and further into their self-righteous self-pity.