07 November 2007

Cutting and Self-Harm

Self harm is a topic which is now being mentioned more often, but is often mentioned in a similar way to leprosy. There seems to be mostly pity for anyone who practices self-harm, rather than sympathy. It often seems that there is more actual sympathy for addicts, or people with eating disorders. These do all have similarities, which is why I mention them together.

All of these are coping mechanisms, addictions, self-harm, eating disorders, all usually begin as methods to deal with stress or misery. My own started around the time of my seperation from my wife, a particularly stressful time as I also could not find a job, and was for a short time homeless before I could face asking my parents to let me move back in. I managed to avoid starting smoking, which came much later, and avoid any other substance addictions. After all affording them was a little difficult.

What I did find though, which did help me cope, was that I could hurt myself. The insides of my forearms are heavily scarred, some of these scars are from other events but many are my own doing. I was extremely careful at the time, not wanting to risk causing any serious damage to myself, so I made sure to sterilise any blade I used, make sure it was sharp and smooth, and so on. Pretty much in the same way that a heroin addict might sterilise a needle.

As to what exactly it did, that is hard to say. In a physiological context I could point out that pain and injury releases adrenaline and endorphins, a very definite rush. In a psychological context it is a control method. The pain and injury, and the scars or wounds left behind, are signs that there is still some little bit of your own life that you are the one in control of. I will admit that this is not sensible in any way but that does not stop it from being at least partly true. It is an addiction, and it does help to cope, but as with any addiction once the need for the coping mechanism is gone the habit often remains.

I finally stopped at the same moment as I decided to stop cutting my hair. Part of the reason I am so concerned about people cutting my hair is because of this, it represents the fact that I have decided that part of my life is over. I had a lot of help before stopping, but when I actually did it was something I chose to do on my own.

For anyone else who may self-harm, remember that as with any coping mechanism or addiction you need to be careful not to put yourself at serious risk. And I do recommend getting real help, whether from a professional or someone else. There are all sorts of ways you can try and cut down on the addiction, such as wrapping rubber bands around your wrists.

The big problem now though is the fashion self-harmers. A large part of the reason I have an intense dislike of emos is the impression they seem to be insistent on giving that self-harming somehow is required to be in their clique. Accept someone who does it, without showing revulsion, yes, but actively encouraging people to cut themselves is just twisted, and not in a good way.

Now to emphasize my view. I will not condemn anyone who does it any more than I would a smoker, or alcoholic, how they deal with it and how it affects others is what will tip the balance. Better than any of these methods is to get real help to deal with things, or to just deal with it alone, and no addiction should ever be taken up whether as a coping mechanism or anything else.

8 comments:

Szarek(Will) said...

Jeez that is bad...

Usually if I wana inflict pain on myself I just tell lee that she is fat..And then all hell brakes loose...

Does it REALLY help to ease the tension?

Mr R Rabbit said...

I'd like to say no, purely to try and discourage people from doing it but I won't lie about that. It can make things seem a lot easier to deal with, in the same way as a cigarette, or a drink.

The Divine Miss M said...

Self harm definitely shouldn't be a taboo subject but it also definitely shouldn't be something that people do to get through their issues and problems. It is dangerous and generally emotionally stunts someone as they are incapable of dealing any other way with their problems.

It can make things easier to deal with but it really should be a last resort or something that you never even try! Find someone to talk to, get professional help. I know it is easier to say than to actually do from my side but seriously PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!!

It is not "cool" like emu kids think and it is not a "healthy" way to control your life. It is an addiction like any other.

AngelConradie said...

sheesh rabbit, you really have put yourself through the wringer haven't you...

Simply Curious said...

As a teenager, and young adult, I did the same. I can't say I ever sterilized anything, or worried about the scars later, though. I have my fair share of scars on my arms, and occasionally someone will ask me what happened. When my Mother saw them fresh, she would panic and think I was suicidal, which was never my intention. Now when I think about it, I wonder how I was able to do it so easily. I can't imagine doing it again.

Valley Girl said...

I am glad that you odn't do it anymore. I used to get tattoos when I was really down...the buzz of the needle seemed to help make the inner pain go away.

Nosjunkie said...

I have a comment about this fasion thing. I have a friend or two.. who do something similar...
neither are completely goth but both like to be all dark and morbid and they tend to wallow in their own shit.
It seems that it is just to hard to fit into society so they go for the next best thing... they get to pretend that they are all dark and misterius and can use the pain casued by god only knows what as an excuse for not pulling their finger out of their ass
Why has it become cool to be demented.
Granted if you really have issues I hand you that but go get help nobody cuts themselves or started sacrificing goats while thinking that they are completely okay.

but if your doing it to get attention you need help too because you have some serius self worth issues... not to mention that the longer you drink all this morbidity...your only making yourself more depressed.

Depression is not cool its a serius sickness
do you go around mimicking people with cancer

Sweets said...

i'll think i will stick to my cigarettes thank you very much...that sounds way too painful!