Just over a year ago I became involved with someone, for about two weeks. During that time they somehow developed the impression that I was the only person in their life who cared about them, was the perfect man, and would be with them forever.
Now admittedly I cannot argue with the perfect man aspect of that particular belief, purely because my simulated ego would fail instantly were I to do so. However being with them forever was definitely not on the cards at the time. I was quite blunt about the fact that the whole affair was just a fling, I even told her that I was only sleeping at her house because it was conveniently placed between the two habitations I was moving all of my belongings between, and it was a long trip from which I needed a break. At the time this all seemed acceptable to her, and then she uttered those terrifying words. 'I love you.'
I should point out now that I have no particular fear of commitment, other than the perfectly rational fear induced by my marriage. At least in general I have no fear of commitment. When its with someone that I know I have no real interest in continuing things with, my fear is legendary. Not only that but my view of love is very different and very much more flexible to the standard view.
Either way my response was sensible, reasonable and rational. I got out of bed, without a word, pulled on what clothes I could find, said 'I'll see you later' and left.
The plan was that she would understand this as the message for 'you crazy bitch, that was the wrong thing to say, leave me alone now'.
She did not understand this message.
I have had to sever contacts with friends, change my phone number, change my e-mail address, remove my profile from certain social sites, and yet she has still managed to find me. Now I have just given up. If I at least talk to her then maybe she will eventually get the message into her delusional little brain. That seems to be the only option until I can afford to change my address. Maybe I should look into moving abroad.
And thus, the Stalker has entered our scene.
Now admittedly I cannot argue with the perfect man aspect of that particular belief, purely because my simulated ego would fail instantly were I to do so. However being with them forever was definitely not on the cards at the time. I was quite blunt about the fact that the whole affair was just a fling, I even told her that I was only sleeping at her house because it was conveniently placed between the two habitations I was moving all of my belongings between, and it was a long trip from which I needed a break. At the time this all seemed acceptable to her, and then she uttered those terrifying words. 'I love you.'
I should point out now that I have no particular fear of commitment, other than the perfectly rational fear induced by my marriage. At least in general I have no fear of commitment. When its with someone that I know I have no real interest in continuing things with, my fear is legendary. Not only that but my view of love is very different and very much more flexible to the standard view.
Either way my response was sensible, reasonable and rational. I got out of bed, without a word, pulled on what clothes I could find, said 'I'll see you later' and left.
The plan was that she would understand this as the message for 'you crazy bitch, that was the wrong thing to say, leave me alone now'.
She did not understand this message.
I have had to sever contacts with friends, change my phone number, change my e-mail address, remove my profile from certain social sites, and yet she has still managed to find me. Now I have just given up. If I at least talk to her then maybe she will eventually get the message into her delusional little brain. That seems to be the only option until I can afford to change my address. Maybe I should look into moving abroad.
And thus, the Stalker has entered our scene.
8 comments:
Oh my. I get the message when a guy doesn't respond to my calls the first couple of times. Stalking is never cool.
Has she forgotten to take her medication? Or are you just completely irresitable?
Obviously I'm just completely irresistable. I mean truly, utterly perfect.
Or possibly its that in the last few days she's been diagnosed with paranoia, depression and dissacciative disorder, and I seem to be the lucky one she's decided to fixate on.
It'd be fine if she was paying me for therapy in my professional capacity, but I don't do freebies.
Hm, I can totally relate to this post, having experienced something quite similar on more than one occasion (sad, I know, I guess I'm the perfect woman! LOL!). The change of address, the email accounts and phone number changes; terribly inconvenient and costly.
In normal cases, being bluntly direct usually works best, and if she truly is disrupting your life, then don't be afraid to let her know this, and tell her that you will in fact, take serious legal measure. Another tactic could be to introduce her to your new significant other (even a made up one, friends are good for this :D), and to tell her just how blissfully happy you are and can't wait for your honeymoon, where you can finally get started on that family you've always wanted. ;)
It's so unfair when you become the object of a loony's affections. I mean, something must be disconnected for them to think that you appreciate their constant unwanted attention. It's sad and pathetic, for both people.
I wish you much luck, you'll need it.
OH, and hope you enjoy that chili!
J
fatal attraction...beware of the boiling rabbit mr rabbit!...lol! oh wow good luck with this one...i don't think you should talk to her again...people like that will probably take any form of communication as a sign on hope...so duck and dive and carry a weapon dude! ;-)
Jewels: I will enjoy the chilli, plenty of peppers going to be added to that.
I have tried introducing her to some of my significant others, it still seems to make no real difference. I've spoken to lawyer but she's not being a serious enough threat to get a restraining order.
Sweetass: The problem is if I don't communicate with her occasionally, she starts turning up on my doorstep. I'd prefer to have to put up with talking to her in other ways than see her face to face.
very scary indeed... i reckon "i love you" is taboo unless you're a blood relation or really good friends!
The stalker.
The stalker can be easily annoyed on the phone. She'll get pissed off, hang up on you, and 15 seconds later call to apologize and start her rant all over again.
Mr. Rabbit, I'm thoroughly enjoying this cast...lol.
Great cast, Mr. Rabbit. But this one is scary. Have you told her, in no uncertain terms, that you are not interested in ever seeing or hearing from her again? If so, then have you said that her contact is unwelcome? Or that you'll have to look into legal action?
If she's still around after that, then you have trouble....
Wow, "I love you" after two weeks? You must have had some kind of sleepovers ;o) I usually get that after at least a month. LOL Except with the current fella....
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