This is mainly a post to explain my last one, since it seems to have confused people. Valley is not the only one asking me why I do not want a relationship with Sweetie, though she is the only one to have left a comment. My reasons go back a long way.
My relationships to date, ones where I have been committed, have not turned out well. Probably the best I have had in recent times was one that ended recently because the girl's paranoia did not let her accept that I was not cheating. Along with various supposed 'friends' trying to tell her that I was cheating so that they could sleep with her, she knew my reputation too well and found it difficult to deal with.
I will not have a committed relationship with Sweetie for several reasons. The first ties back to past relationships, and essentially boils down to me now being unwilling to commit to anyone who cannot simply accept me and trust me as I am. For all her qualities Sweetie is paranoid, and the distance is not helpful in that regard. While she can accept that I may be seeing other people, I honestly do not believe she could trust me if I told her that I was not.
The second is more related to who she is, and how she is. As I have said before she is a lovely, sweet girl. Unfortunately this means that I have to restrain myself constantly around her. I am not a lovely, sweet person. I can be very nice, but I am honestly not a nice person. Again, if I am to go into a relationship then it needs to be with someone who can accept that occasionally I do want a raging argument to settle me. I want them to stand up for themselves and make cutting remarks right back at me.
And the third boils down to sex. While Sweetie is somewhat open-minded in her attitude to sex, she shares only a couple of her kinks with me. It has been a very long time since I have been able to indulge myself properly during sex and I really do miss it. Being stuck having nothing but vanilla sex, with the same person, as my only amusement has been proven to drive me mad in the past.
So if someone fills all three criteria, I might consider a relationship. Otherwise I am going to continue being me.
I suppose I should also clarify what I mean by a relationship. To me it implies commitment to the other person. Yes, that is suprisingly close-minded and traditional of me but in the way that most people understand that is what a relationship means. We lack the words to describe other sorts properly.
My relationships to date, ones where I have been committed, have not turned out well. Probably the best I have had in recent times was one that ended recently because the girl's paranoia did not let her accept that I was not cheating. Along with various supposed 'friends' trying to tell her that I was cheating so that they could sleep with her, she knew my reputation too well and found it difficult to deal with.
I will not have a committed relationship with Sweetie for several reasons. The first ties back to past relationships, and essentially boils down to me now being unwilling to commit to anyone who cannot simply accept me and trust me as I am. For all her qualities Sweetie is paranoid, and the distance is not helpful in that regard. While she can accept that I may be seeing other people, I honestly do not believe she could trust me if I told her that I was not.
The second is more related to who she is, and how she is. As I have said before she is a lovely, sweet girl. Unfortunately this means that I have to restrain myself constantly around her. I am not a lovely, sweet person. I can be very nice, but I am honestly not a nice person. Again, if I am to go into a relationship then it needs to be with someone who can accept that occasionally I do want a raging argument to settle me. I want them to stand up for themselves and make cutting remarks right back at me.
And the third boils down to sex. While Sweetie is somewhat open-minded in her attitude to sex, she shares only a couple of her kinks with me. It has been a very long time since I have been able to indulge myself properly during sex and I really do miss it. Being stuck having nothing but vanilla sex, with the same person, as my only amusement has been proven to drive me mad in the past.
So if someone fills all three criteria, I might consider a relationship. Otherwise I am going to continue being me.
I suppose I should also clarify what I mean by a relationship. To me it implies commitment to the other person. Yes, that is suprisingly close-minded and traditional of me but in the way that most people understand that is what a relationship means. We lack the words to describe other sorts properly.
7 comments:
Fair enough, if she isn't the person who fills all of those criterias then definitely do not have a relationship with her.
I must say though that as a girl I would think that it is time to cut her lose purely based on the fact that she is hinting for more. Even though she says that she knows you are seeing other people if she wants more from you then she obviously doesn't really like it and if you don't want to hurt her as you claim then maybe it has run it's course?
Just an idea ...
thanx for the details dude, it makes perfect sense to me!!
I think this post made perfect sense. After reading the other post this morning, it made perfect sense, as well. :P
Okay, now I understand. Vanilla sex is torture!!! You poor thing. *pats back*
Perhaps Sweetie is holding back on you.
Don't be surprised if one day that vanilla turns into a hot pepper!
Vanilla sex? Man I miss sex, sex.
another one i missed! shocking...
i think you are right in your decision, if the basic criteria is not achieved, forget it, it's just a matter of time before it ends. a committed relationship takes a lot of hard work and effort, and at the end of the day it should give you that something that you simply just can't do without. so it is what it is, i'm sure if you want it you'll hit the jackpot sometime...
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