Fireworks Are Dangerous

So you see those pretty things up there? Those ones which go boom, whizz, flash and crackle? The ones which sparkle and shine and light up the sky? The ones which fall over and get stuck in their launchers, or in the case of some fly free of their securing nail and spiral across the garden in a whirl of sparkling fury?

Yes, fireworks. They are immense fun. But has anyone else noticed that they are at their best when things do not go quite to plan? Take our little home display last night. We had a highly successful bonfire, even if we did all need to shelter from the heat behind a tree when it was at its best. And we may have accidentally set fire to a large patch of bamboo and burned it half to the ground before anyone managed to get the fire extinguisher out, but it was fun all the same.

Then we moved on to the actual display.

That was when the fun really started.

We started the display with a rocket, a very large rocket, lit by yours truly. Sadly the launching tube must have been pressed a little too firmly into the ground so that the rocket's own stick ended up stuck in the earth. As you can imagine, in an explosive device with a blast radius of about twenty to thirty metres and intended to fire off at a height of maybe a hundred feet, being stuck is not a good thing.

It did actually launch, eventually, but the delay must have been a little too much. It had barely cleared the roof when it detonated with a shockwave that nearly took us off our feet, shattered a couple of windows, and echoed for a good few minutes.

You might consider that this could be taken as a bad omen, and a sign to cease the display. Not so! The windows were quickly boarded up and repair people are coming today, and the display continued. The next melodrama to occur involved a firework designed to fire sixty four shots, which would delight young and old with their explosive, then crackling descent. It must be admitted that it did almost exactly what it said on the tin.

The only problem was that the first shot for some reason jarred it free of its bed of earth and onto its side. It then lay on its side and fired sixty three shots directly at the house of our neighbour, probably causing much distress inside as it must have sounded like a siege weapon going off as each shot detonated when it hit the wall of their house.

And still the display continued, though with no further problems.

In other news, Tart is now being cut free for simplicity. Things were fine when all she was offering were fun and games, but now she is poking for more of a relationship and I have already had one with her, which ended badly, so no thanks. Another one down, though a few more potentials on the horizon. I will have to tell you about those should something actually come of them. Affair is still demonstrating more and more interest, I get the strong feeling her current boyfriend is ignoring her, and given that this is one of only two girls I have ever met with a sex drive to match mine it must be driving her insane.

And of course, as always, there is Stalker. She has now taken to sending me pictures, from a range of different e-mail addresses and accompanied by stories. The pictures are quite obviously of her, but for some reason they really do not push any buttons I might have. I think my dislike of her is preventing me from becoming aroused by such images, even though they would should they come from other people.