Everyone Has Problems

So we can quite happily say that everyone has problems, either their own fault other people's, and a multitude of them. At the moment most of mine are fairly basic, and are ones I am trying to fix. There is the fact that I am currently ill, which is improving anyway. There is the fact that I hate my job and do not get paid nearly enough, but I have a lot of application forms and CVs floating around out there to apply to new ones.

Most of the others are not as easily solved. Baby is currently slightly ill, and so screams even more than usual. This is a little annoying to say the least. Very little sleep because of that, although at least I can talk to people while I am waiting for the little brat to actually get to sleep. So thanks to people who talk back to me, you are helping to keep my sanity intact.

Next problem is Stalker again. I actually had to speak with her today, on the phone, for about half an hour. This was after five phone calls which my sister answered and simply hung up on, before she finally got fed up and brought the phone to me. I told Stalker in no uncertain terms to stop phoning before I had to call the police. Her reply was that if I did not speak to her then she would be turning up on my doorstep.

If it was my own place I was living in, on my own, I would not mind this. Unfortunately she is not mentally stable, quite obviously, and I do not feel comfortable with her being within fifty miles of my nephew. So I spoke to her. Or rather I listened while she unloaded all of her little insecurities, whines, confessions of undying love and so on at me. After listening to her rather poor attempts at emotional blackmail for a half-hour, I finally gave up and simply hung up the phone.

Another is that I have decided I am stunningly bad at relationships, due to being an uncontrollable flirt. I honestly cannot help it. If I find someone attractive, for whatever reason, I flirt with them. I will not flirt with anyone I do not like, so at least there are limits, but other than that I can and will flirt with absolutely everyone. This causes a mixture of things, firstly serious insecurity for anyone I happen to try and have an actual relationship with. Secondly it can really cause people the wrong idea if all I am interested in is flirting, though I do not believe that has ever actually ended up as a problem. Thirdly I have had a lot of trouble with friends develop because of it, until they get to know me. Once people know me I can get away with anything. Before people realise that I am actually quite harmless, problems can happen.

And last is my problem with being judged. I often say that I do not care about being judged. That is not quite true. I refuse to feel bad when people judge me in some way, but what I have discovered, or realised, does happen is that I will deliberately go out of my way to offend people who judge me in some way. If they tell me that something I could do is wrong I will set out actively to do it. It does not matter what it is, how dangerous it might be, how much I may dislike the idea, I will almost always try to spoil people's opinions of me even more than they were beforehand.

I suppose there is an advantage though. I really can get away with almost anything once people know me. It seems that friends just accept anything I say, people who would snarl at anyone who so much as winked at their girlfriend do not object when I start spanking them in the middle of the pub, nor do they object when it is done to them. I have no idea what I would have to do to actually offend any of the people who know me well.